I ended off my bedtime story in my previous post as follows:
“Now I feel this moth walking around on me and I felt it walking from my legs up to my tummy. I said to the moth ‘okay, fine, I’ll let you walk here, but just don’t come walk unto my face – wait, that’s exactly where you’re going aren’t you – you’re coming to stand on my face!’. It was just an idea that occurred to me as I was talking to the moth, but I placed my hand in front of my face just in case. And yes – the moth walked in a straight line, right into my hand, if I hadn’t placed my hand there, it would have come to sit on my face lol. That’s when something interesting happened – which I will share in my next post ;).”
As I feel the moth in my hand, I feel it wants to continue moving/walking, so I extended my arm beside me and felt the moth walking up to my shoulder. Even though the entire time I had been annoyed with this moth for making sounds that were apparently keeping me from sleeping, I could suddenly not experience any anger or frustration towards this little creature walking on my arm so gently. It was as soon as I had felt the touch of the moth in my hand that all my perceptions and judgments of the moth just dropped away – because the touch was so gentle, so soft. In feeling the creature walking on my hand and arm I felt how balanced it is, how light, how specific. From almost feeling targeted by the moths visiting my room at night, I suddenly felt so grateful that I had been able to experience a moth walking on me – it felt like a privilege. Beforehand – I had only experienced my own reactions and perceptions of the moth, it was only when feeling the touch that I actually experienced the moth with me for the first time, even though we had shared the same room for a while now.
The moth flew off my shoulder and I heard it land on the floor close to my bedroom door. I heard it walking around the floor as I started applying self-forgiveness for all the reactions I’d experienced, for my perceptions and judgments of the moth, for the previous night a moth had been in my room and how I had just obsessed over the noise and projected my own suppressed reactions onto the moth and then traced he origins of those energies to let them go. I continued until I was silent within and then I noticed how silent it was – not only within me but in my room as well. I couldn’t help but chuckle at the specificity of it – the moth had done her job, she could rest now, and so could I.