In this blog I am sharing my process of redefining the word 'Productivity'. How this word was defined within me was manifesting a lot of internal and sometimes even external conflict in my reality after I became pregnant. Investigating, purifying and redefining the word is what has allowed, enabled and empowered me to stand clear within myself, and live the word productivity as an expression of myself while being pregnant.
Enjoy!
Defining the word – How have I defined and lived the word so far?
With speaking the word ‘productive’, I immediately have an image of a factory with factory workers coming up in my mind – where everyone is busy, keeping up with a certain pace to achieve the maximum output of ‘work done’ within a certain timeframe. With this picture is associated a sense of urgency, business, lots of noise, loud machines, not being aware of anything but the tiny task you’re having to perform, very unpleasant really.
Nothing comes up with writing the word.
With reading the word, I see the word ‘pro’ as in ‘professional’ – where in order to be productive, you have to be professional – block out the ‘personal’ as in how you personally feel physically and mentally. In being professional, having to adhere to a certain standard of sameness every day, all day. A lapse in your composure in speaking to someone where you let reactions out – is not professional, to take a nap cause you feel tired is not professional etc.
Also ‘duc’ stands out in reading the word, as in ‘conducive’ like electric current can easily run through it – so with being productive I see this related to also everything having to run smoothly, no breaks except for the scheduled ones, everyone has to be ‘on point’ to be able to work on the parts that are being passed to us for the next step in production, while also being able to pass on parts to others, so that no one is ever idly waiting, but everyone busy within the same rhythm.
The word productive came in my life mostly when living on the farm. Before that, I was studying and here, all I had to do was up to me alone, so I felt it was more a matter of ‘discipline’ to get done what I needed to get done, and what I did with the rest of my time, was irrelevant, sleeping was an acceptable activity if I had nothing else to do.
At the farm and with Desteni – I often experience a sense of pressure and urgency in terms of the understanding that process is accumulative in every moment, with every breath – so the more we push for the message to be out there, or examples of living change to be out there, the more we put in the effort of supporting others, the more we do what we do – the faster this process will move and reach greater numbers in terms of the ripples we create. So, at the farm, what was pushed was to be active every moment that you could be active. Working hours became meaningless – work was life, was every day, from waking up to going back to bed, maximizing how much you can ‘get done’ in a day and all the hours that are in a day. That didn’t mean you can’t take breaks or that you can’t relax and do fun stuff – but we also know why we’re here – and that’s not just to ‘have a nice life’ – we’re here to stand as an example and a support for others. It became standard to be doing ‘something’ – and that if I take a break during the day, that it’s only so long and then I go back to getting things done.
Now with having become pregnant, everything changed. It was suggested that I walk the ideal pregnancy to allow it to stand as example, as a statement that this is common sense and questioning why this is not obvious and supported throughout the world? Yet – I am not living in an ideal world. What we do on the farm, apart from getting the message out and supporting people, also generates our income, which in turn determines our ability and efficiency in getting the message out and provide support. When I don’t put in the same amount of work I used to – it can have an effect on our income, and definitely has an effect on my ability to create my own/new income streams through personal or new projects.
So – with the entirety of me and my life having been shaped into this definition and understanding of productivity – allowing myself to not put in the same amount of work has been very difficult. It goes ‘against the grain’ of who I’ve created myself to be.
2. Purifying the Word – Letting go of the old
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define being productive as being busy like a factory worker in a factory – that productivity means that you are physically doing things that have results, not only in terms of physical output, but that also contributes to the generation of income and profits for a group or a company.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have defined the word productivity within a positive charge as a virtue that I should aspire to live and be at all times, in order to be deemed a ‘good citizen’, a ‘good worker’, a ‘good person’, a ‘good employee’.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have defined the word productivity within a negative charge as the experience of stress, fear, anxiety, urgency, pressure, lack of time, frustration that I believe implicitly accompanies the living of the word productivity.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have attached a picture of a factory with factory workers, where machines are making lots of smoke, everything looks dull and grey and I imagine the machines making loud screeching and pounding noises, while factory workers do their best to block out everything and everyone else except the one small task they need to perform in the chain of workers.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that if I am relaxed, at peace, comfortable, that then something is ‘wrong’, that I am then not productive enough, because I am not experiencing stress, urgency, pressure, anxiety and fear.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to within the definition of the word productivity, include a dimension of someone/others watching me and what I am doing and continuously judging and assessing whether I am doing enough, being productive enough, or whether I am lazy, wasting time and being a burden to others.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define productivity within a standard of sameness that applies to everyone equally – that the same level of input/contribution/participation is expected from every person, and if this level is not met, then the person is being lazy.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined productivity solely within the dimension of income generation – where, if a person does a lot of things, but these things are not linked to generating monetary income directly – then it does not classify as being productive, but instead classifies under leisure, free time and hobbies.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to view any person who spends more time doing non-income related activities than income related activities as someone who is a burden to everyone else, because they are apparently not being productive, not contributing and not carrying their weight in the bigger group.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as not being productive and as a burden to others, because I am not participating within and contributing in income related activities as much as I used to/as much as others, and am more participating within non-income related activities.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within inner conflict because the definition of productivity that I held within me did not apply to being pregnant, where I felt I suddenly ‘lost’ this part of myself that had previously been such a big part of me/my every day life, yet did at the same time see the value in being pregnant, but felt this value was now ‘at odds’/competing with the value of productivity to see which one would ‘win out’ – to determine whether I am doing something ‘good’ or something ‘bad’ with being pregnant.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define productivity within a positive charge as good and right - and everything that does not fall under my definition of productivity as lazy, a waste of time, a burden.
3. Redefining the Word
Dictionary definition:
noun
1.
the quality, state, or fact of being able to generate, create, enhance, or bring forth goods and services:
The productivity of the group's effort surprised everyone.
2.
Economics. the rate at which goods and services having exchange value are brought forth or produced :
Productivity increased dramatically last year.
3.
Grammar. the ability to form new words using established patterns and discrete linguistic elements, as the derivational affixes -ness and -ity.
Etymology:
Productivity:
1809, "quality of being productive," from productive + -ity. An earlier word for this was productiveness (1727). Economic sense of "rate of output per unit" is from 1899.
Productive:
1610s, from French productif (16c.) and directly from Medieval Latin productivus "fit for production," from Latin product-, past participle stem of producere (see produce (v.)). Related: Productively; productiveness.
Produce:
early exe15c., "develop, proceed, extend," from Latin producere "lead or bring forth, draw out," figuratively "to promote, empower; stretch out, extend," from pro "before, forth" (see pro-) + ducere "to bring, lead" (see duke). Sense of "bring into being" is first recorded 1510s; that of "put (a play) on stage" is from 1580s. Related: Produced; producing.
Also:
"thing or things produced," 1690s, from produce (v.), and originally accented like it. Specific sense of "agricultural productions" (as distinguished from manufactured goods) is from 1745.
Sounding of the Word:
Product
Proud-Activity
Prod-Activity
Active
Pro
Creative Writing:
With what I have written so far and looking at all these dimensions, I see how I've defined productivity in an extremely limited way. I’ve really only been looking at it in terms of factories manufacturing stuff, having that timetable of pressure, and stress with it. When looking at especially the etymology, which also gives a history of the word, at first if you have simply the word ‘produce’ where (you know, that was quite a striking point for me) where they distinguish between ‘produce’ and ‘products’ as though production is something different for agriculture/nature and people. So, they make that distinction between your natural production and your, let’s say, factory production. They also created a whole culture around factory production, while the natural production processes are kind of not spoken of much, fall behind and we forget about how nature is also producing, how a vegetable growing is a point of production.
Here also the original meaning of the verb ‘produce’ as ‘leading something into being’, bringing something into manifestation, into creation - where if you look at the factory version of production that was ingrained during industrialization, it's shrouded in this energy of pressure, having to do as much as possible, timetables, everything is very systematic and… hurried. Doing stuff as fast as possible is the thing that stands out the most. On the other hand, if you look at nature and how nature produces, it's at a different pace; it’s at a pace of breathing in… breathing out… .
Simply in seeing that this is included in the word production, produce, productivity – allowed me to drop my experience of frustration and guilt and conflict around the word productivity because what it was showing me is that pregnancy is an ideal example of productivity. In being pregnant, you lead a new being into being – leading a new human being into the world. And this is not a matter and process where you will see me externally going around, running around, doing things, but is something that happens in every moment, that I am integral part of and which is taking up a lot of my resources. So, that was actually pretty cool.
And then also the part where they give the example of ‘to produce something, to bring something into being’ where the first recorded use was that of putting a play on stage. So here, production in the sense of the arts; putting a performance on stage, creating something, expressing something, bringing things together- where it’s not done for profits, or income, but as a way to add value and expression to the world. So, this is a whole different scene/scenario where productivity also applies and finds expression. This again showing me to what extent I had limited my definition of the word productivity within me and so why I felt I was losing my ability to be productive – because I wasn't able to participate in certain types of activities like I was able to before, in terms of producing texts, producing lessons, producing products, etc. Everything takes so much longer, or just doesn't want to work in the same way.
Those are just my observations in walking this redefining words process thus far. I still have to actually redefine the word, lol.
New definition
So with all of that – what can I define the word productivity as, in such a way that it's not limited to just one aspect of the word, or one expression of the word, or one application of the word?
I would say productivity is the contribution, participation or engagement in a creative process, where this creative process can apply to something, can apply to someone, can apply to yourself even. So, if this stands as the core definition of the word, you will decide whether this creation is going to be something supportive or not. But in terms of the essence of the word productivity, I would say this definition captures it quite well: contributing, being part of, or by yourself bringing something into being, moving and participating in a creative process.
4. Living the Word
Living the word is obviously a day-to-day application in real time. However, I can support myself by looking at: how am I going to live this word, what can I practically do to integrate this word, this new definition of the word, into my daily living?
Productivity in relation to tasks and responsibilities
I’ll start with productivity in terms of tasks and responsibilities as this is the first aspect of my life where this point became apparent and why it came up. So, let me see how I can redefine myself and how I can live the word productivity differently in that area of my life now with being pregnant and not having the same, say, skills and resources at my disposal:
I commit myself to live the word productivity in relation to tasks and responsibilities by participating in activities that I am well-equipped to participate in and that are within my capacity currently – where I am able to contribute to everything that we do at Desteni, even if those activities are not what I usually did. And, for those activities that I usually did, like creating lessons and courses, I will support myself by playing with different methods and ways of doing or accomplishing the same thing. Here, for instance, instead of writing a lesson like I usually would by typing it out straight on the computer, I will test simply speaking and recording myself talking about a topic and that way generating material and content first in spoken word, which I then have as reference to transcribe and use in written form later. So, I can test this as a way to go about things differently instead of simply giving up and saying ‘well, this isn't working, I’m not going to participate within this at all’, which was my experience and conclusion before I had redefined the word productivity, but which I see now is not necessarily what I need to do or accept. So, that is how I'll live the word productivity in relation to tasks and responsibilities; allowing myself to participate in other types of tasks and activities as well as for the tasks and activities I'm finding to be far more difficult now, to see if there’s different ways I can participate in them, and if not – cool – to just let them go for now and ask someone else to step in or assist if needed.
Productivity in relation to myself
Productivity in relation to myself would then refer to bringing myself into being, which I see here relating to my process of birthing myself as the physical, creating myself in self-awareness through living words. So, I commit myself to live the word productivity in relation to myself by assisting and supporting myself in focusing on redefining or living a particular word every day, making the process of redefining and living words part of my day-to-day life.
Productivity in relation to my environment
Here, if I look at productivity as bringing something into being, participating in a creative process – I’m looking at what do I want to create my environment to be? So, here I'm going to use the opportunity to look at my environment in terms of what I would want to change or create in terms of a baby joining us here in a few months. Herein, I can live the word productivity as identifying all the points that require to change in the environment, that would not support a child very well, to remove or change those (or ask others to support me to), and at the same time look at what requires to be introduced. Then, I will bit by bit make those changes, so that I can bring forth and create that environment that will support me, a baby, my partner as well as the dogs that live with me.
All right, so these three areas of myself and my life (my tasks and responsibilities, myself, and my environment) is where I’m going to practice integrating the word productivity as an expression of myself.
Thank you for reading.